Once upon a time…

So, here goes.  Since it was suggested to me, twice, that I should write a blog…here I go.  This may be the first and only post.  It may be the first of many.  Having the attention span of a gnat, there’s no way of knowing.

How I chose a title.

I, being me, went to Google and looked up “how to start a blog” and then started reading.  Naturally the only thing that I really noticed was an article, somewhere, that said, “You don’t want a stalker.”  It’s like they were reading my mind.  No, I don’t want a stalker.  Yes, I am self-centered enough to imagine that throngs of readers will flock to my blog and hang on my every word.  One of them may be a deranged bad guy who wants to be my stalker.  Do. Not. Want. So if you are a person who happens upon my blog and thinks, “Hey, I’m going to be this gal’s stalker!” I’ll say to you, no thank you.

Then I started wondering, since I’m obviously going to use my name as a title, what the hell am I going to use?  I rolled it around in my mind for a little while.  My husband made a suggestion of calling it “KristiJoSueLynneMarie”.  Well, that’s just silly, I thought to myself.  Then I wondered about some catch phrases that apply to me.  And my family’s all time favorite came to mind.  And so I used it.

How it happened.

Years ago my then fiancée took me and my daughter snow skiing in Breckenridge.  There were many disasters on that trip.  So many that he’s actually never taken us again.  The child, not being an athlete, really wasn’t too interested in skiing so much.  She decided to spend an afternoon in the cabin with the daughter of the other couple who traveled with us.  When we come back from skiing, the girls were REALLY happy to see us.  This is unusual.  So the child begins to tell the story.  While the girls are playing around on the computer, someone knocks on the door.  The child goes to the door and opens it, and no one is there.  Back to the computer and more goofing off.  Then knocking, again.   Child goes to the door, doesn’t open it, look out the window.  Nobody there,again.  Getting a little miffed, she was.  I guess this went on for a while and the 2 girls got themselves good and freaked out.  Eventually my child sneaks over to the window and peeks out and sees…

a woodpecker.

Keeping in mind that this is a twelve and thirteen year old telling this story.  Lots of drama, flailing and running around, the anticipation was killing me.  And I uttered perhaps the stupidest sentence ever.  Yep, that’s it.

What was it pecking?  This was followed by the most insane and out of control laughter that has ever happened anywhere.  Then comes the oh so creative answers to my question.  “The house, Mom, it was a housepecker.”  “A tree, it’s a treepecker!”  “Snowpecker?”  “Don’t be a hatepecker.”  It went on and on.  Still does.  And now I know what they’ll put on my tombstone.  Great.

This brilliant question, comes back to bite me in the ass, A LOT.

I’m not saying that I haven’t said a ton of stupid stuff.  Sometimes, when I open my yapper, words just fall out.  I don’t know what to tell ya.  It happens.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Honey B.
    Jan 27, 2012 @ 22:12:27

    Welcome to the blogosphere! Love the blog name – it seemed very cerebral to me (I was thinking, maybe a line in a book that brilliant people read, which is why I’ve never heard it) but I much prefer your story, because a conversation that has hilarity and pecker references is way more my style. 🙂


  2. kristijotexan
    Jan 29, 2012 @ 08:50:55

    Thank you Ms. Honey! It means more to me to get validation from a stranger than anything. You’ve made my day! I’ll try to write another funny one. Lord knows I’ve got enough material.


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